Lost in Translation

A look at Vietnamese restaurant and menu culture.

We figured out pretty quickly, that if a restaurant in Vietnam provides an “English Menu” translation, you really are better off to ask for the Vietnamese menu instead. However, you need to learn how to read one of these. Best way is to learn about a dozen dishes you like and memorize them!

The reasons for this are 2-fold.

1. English menu prices cost more about 90% of the time. The dish when written in Vietnamese may be 50,000 VND. However get the same thing from the English menu, expect to pay a 20% premium, and fork out 60,000 VND or more. Often beer on the English menu will not have a price. I think then the price becomes whatever they feel they can get away with charging, and that will be dependent on you! We have been here long enough now to know the prices of things, but still restaurateurs try and charge us 12,000 VND for a 8,000 VND beer. Usually the rip offs though are only 1000 VND added on at a time, so it’s hard to spot, or often you just can’t be bothered to argue over 10c.

2. Half the time you’ll still wonder what the hell the translation means.
However as we have been finding out… if you’ve had a particularly humourless day, it may well be worth perusing the “English” menu before making your order with the waiter from the locals’ menu.

Take the menu below as a case-in-point. First thing I got to ask, is who is the brand manager for Johnny Walker in Vietnam. What a menu to sponsor…



2nd from the bottom! Crispy fried Anus – sponsored by Johnny Walker Red! Fantastic!
In case you are wondering this dish is actually the lower part of the large intestine, so hey! They were nearly right…

Yesterday, I was lucky enough to head down to Hoi An for the day on the motorbike, and catch up with Guy once again. We headed out for a beer and some dinner at one of his locals, away from all the Hoi An Tourists. I was surprised this time to see that they had an English Menu. We just had to have dish number 5 on this menu.


Mike and Soo Wuan were with us and we laid bets. Whoever was further away from what we actually had to eat, had to pay for the dish! My Guess was trotters. Hey, I guess they are close to trousers in the dictionary, easy mistake to make. It ended up to be a plate of deep fried pigs Toes! And they were delicious, although not the most attractive looking dish I have had to date.

Tulip is a pretty big “Czech” style Brewpub here in Da Nang. They are a little expensive and there beer is average. (Some comments on the beer at the bottom of this blog…)
I particularly like this menu though, what do you think of dish number 2? I guess it’s what it say’s it is, funnily I haven’t ordered this one yet, perhaps they go well with beer? Can’t imagine there is much eating on one of these though! (May need to click on this menu to view it properly)


Below, another delightful, mouth watering series of dishes, for you to indulge in...



Tulip Beer – These Guys are doing what every other micro Brewer/Brew-pub in Vietnam is doing. Czech style, (they say) beers, a dark “Bia Dang” and a light “Bia Vang” Their beers are ok. There are roughly 10 or so brewpubs now that we have been in, in Vietnam, and all the beers taste the same, They are cloudy, unfiltered, beers with way too much malt weight for the climate. The light beers tend to be a little more risky to drink, as there is often Diacetyl issues that the Dark beers are more forgiving with. Apparently a Vietnamese Brewer trained in Europe several years ago, and I figure he now travels around consulting, at new start-up projects. I am guessing this as everyone’s beers taste like they use the same Malt grist, the same Hops, and the same yeast, and they all have the same technical faults.
My understanding is that “Czech” beers became popular here, as in the mid 1990’s the Vietnamese Ambassador to Czech Republic returned home to Vietnam, and decided to open a Czech style Brew Pub, called Hoa Vien. This is in District 1 in HCMC. Interestingly -You are not allowed to build a micro brewery in District 1, and even a couple of others that exist, are being told to move out! I wonder why an Ex Ambassador is allowed to keep his brewery!